Mortal Engines 2018 Review: A Gonzo, Gargantuan, and Gloriously Messy Ride
Mortal Engines 2018 Review: A Gonzo, Gargantuan, and Gloriously Messy Ride
Mortal Engines 2018: A Gonzo, Gargantuan, and Gloriously Messy Ride
OMG. You will not believe the absolute bonkers spectacle I just mainlined. Mortal Engines. Seriously, what even is this movie? It’s like someone fed a stack of classic sci-fi paperbacks and a diagram of a steam engine into a woodchipper and then filmed the beautiful, chaotic debris.
Alright, so buckle up. Wanna hear something crazy?
Basic Deets
No fluff, just the stuff you gotta know.
- Title: Mortal Engines
- Director: Christian Rivers (protégé of the one and only Peter Jackson, which explains… a lot).
- Key Cast: Hera Hilmar, Robert Sheehan, Hugo Weaving, Jihae.
- Genre: Sci-Fi Fantasy, Steampunk, Post-Apocalyptic YA Adventure. A real mouthful.
- Runtime: A beefy 2 hours and 8 minutes. They do not skimp.
- Release Date: December 2018. It tried to be a holiday blockbuster. Bless its heart.
- Rating: PG-13 for the usual city-on-city violence and some moderately spooky imagery.
The Lowdown
Hang on a second, because the premise is wild. We’re millennia into the future after a 60-minute war called… wait for it… “The Sixty-Minute War” (they were efficient, I’ll give ‘em that) basically turned the world into a shattered wasteland. Humanity’s big brain idea for survival? Municipal Darwinism. Yeah. Entire cities are now giant, rumbling vehicles. Bigger cities chase and eat smaller towns. It’s predator and prey, but with smokestacks and shopping districts. London is the top dog, a massive metallic predator on wheels, trundling across the hunting grounds.
Our main gal is Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), a young woman with a gnarly facial scar and a rage that could power a small town for a week. She’s got one mission: to shank the impeccably dressed and deeply sinister Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving, because who else are you gonna call for this kinda role?). Her path collides with Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan), a sweet, nerdy historian who works in the London Museum and believes a little too much in the city’s propaganda. When Hester’s assassination attempt goes sideways, she and Tom get thrown off London—I mean, literally ejected from the moving city—and have to survive together in the muddy, dangerous Out-Country. Their core problem is simple but massive: survive the elements, avoid murderous scavengers, and find a way back to London to stop whatever Valentine is scheming. Because his scheming is, of course, Very Bad News for everyone.
My Take
The Vibe
Watching this flick is a bizarre experience. It feels like a movie that should have been made in 2004, right alongside The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen or Van Helsing. It has that same unhinged commitment to a weird aesthetic, zero chill on the world-building, and a plot that moves at the speed of a runaway locomotive. There is not a single moment where the film winks at the audience. It takes its utterly ridiculous premise with the solemnity of a Shakespearean tragedy. And you know what? I kinda love it for that. The vibe is 100% committed, no-apologies steampunk insanity. It’s grimy, gears-and-cogs fantasy slammed into a YA revenge story. The visual design is off-the-charts creative. Every frame is packed with detail, from the cobbled-together tech of the airships to the grubby, layered clothing of the characters. It’s a world that feels genuinely lived-in, even if the logic of it all is completely bananas.
Shout-Outs
Let’s talk about the good stuff. Because there is plenty.
First off, the visual effects team deserved a medal and a long vacation. The sight of London, this colossal tiered city, rumbling after a poor little mining town is one of the most stunningly original action sequences I’ve seen in years. The scale is incomprehensible. You feel the ground shake, you see the panic of the smaller town’s inhabitants. It’s breathtaking. And it’s not just that one scene; the entire film is a feast for the eyes. The air haven of Airhaven, the zombie-like resurrected soldier called Shrike, the vast, dead landscapes—it’s all rendered with a painterly, gritty detail that is just chef’s kiss.
Speaking of Shrike. Holy moly. This character, a Stalker (a reanimated corpse turned into an unfeeling killing machine), is legitimately the most compelling part of the whole shebang. He’s terrifying, tragic, and his connection to Hester adds a layer of emotional stakes that the main plot sometimes struggles to muster. His voice, this cold, synthetic growl, gave me actual chills.
Also, a massive shout-out to Jihae as Anna Fang, the rebel pilot and freedom fighter. She swaggers onto the screen with a coolness factor of about a million. She’s charismatic, capable, and frankly, I would watch an entire trilogy just about her adventures. She’s the anti-Valentine: stylish, rebellious, and fighting for something real. The scene where she introduces herself by casually taking down a bunch of bad guys is an instant classic.
And look, the core concept is just so gloriously dumb and brilliant. The sheer audacity to pitch “cities eat other cities” and get a $100 million budget for it is something to be celebrated. In an era of safe, cookie-cutter blockbusters, Mortal Engines swings for the fences with a spiked club. It fails spectacularly at some things, but its ambition is never in question.
The Niggles
Okay. Deep breath. Here’s where the wheels get a little wobbly. And not in a cool, traction-free kind of way.
The main issue, and it’s a biggie, is the breakneck pacing. This movie crams what feels like two or three books worth of plot into a single film. Characters form deep bonds in what seems like an afternoon. Major revelations are hurled at you like fastballs, and you barely have time to process one world-altering piece of information before the next one smacks you in the face. It’s exhausting. I felt like I needed a flowchart. The relationship between Hester and Tom, which should be the emotional core, suffers the most. One minute they’re trying to kill each other, the next they’re… ride-or-die buddies? It needed more room to breathe.
Which brings me to Hugo Weaving. Look, I adore the man. But here, he’s basically playing a slightly less nuanced version of Agent Smith in a waistcoat. The villain motivation is your standard “I want to end/prevent war by causing a bigger war” schtick. It’s a shame, because the world is so unique, but the antagonist feels pulled from a generic blockbuster handbook.
And finally, the sheer weight of the lore. The film assumes you’re either familiar with Philip Reeve’s book series or that you’re willing to just accept a tidal wave of proper nouns and historical events without much explanation. It can be alienating. You’re just sitting there, trying to enjoy the giant city chase, and someone starts yelling about “MEDUSA” and “ODD” and you’re like, “Wait, what? Who?” It’s a lot.
Verdict
So, after all that, is Mortal Engines a good movie?
That’s a complicated question. Is it a great movie? No. The pacing is frantic, the character development is thin, and the story is overstuffed. But is it a fantastically entertaining, visually spectacular, and wildly ambitious movie that is unlike anything else you’ll see? Abso-freaking-lutely.
I’m giving it a 7/10.
It’s a glorious mess. A beautiful, flawed, and utterly fascinating trainwreck of ideas. I had a stupid grin on my face for about 70% of the runtime, just marveling at the sheer creativity on display.
Who’s this for? If you love unique world-building, steampunk aesthetics, and don’t mind a plot that moves like it’s late for a very important date, you’ll find a lot to love. It’s perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon when you want to be visually dazzled without having to think too hard.
Who should skip it? If you need tight, logical storytelling and deep character arcs, this might drive you up the wall. It’s not a nuanced film. It’s a sledgehammer of spectacle.
My final advice? Don’t go in expecting high art. Go in expecting a live-action anime with a massive budget and a heart of grimy, beating gears. Lower your expectations for narrative cohesion, crank up the volume for the epic score, and just let the sheer, unadulterated madness of Mortal Engines wash over you. It’s a one-of-a-kind ride. And honestly? The world is a more interesting place with movies like this in it. For more deep dives into ambitious flops and hidden gems, you know where to go: cinewatched.com.
References
- Mortal Engines | The City of London Devours Bavaria for Fuel